Look After You

I don't know why I had left that place I was forced to call home, maybe after all it was a stupid decision but I had no other choice unless I wanted the rest of my life to be melancholy. I couldn't stand to be in such a broken household even though on the outside we looked like your perfect suburban family but we were far from that to be entirely honest. I was never really sure who to blame for the unfortunate life style our family lived, it had all occurred as a chain of events if you look at it from another perspective. Our parents had been happily married, apparently although I had, had no memory of this my older sister Evanna would always tell me stories about them to help me drift off to sleep.

She had explained to me that our mother, Marilyn had been a sweet yet intelligent woman who was always proud of her lifestyle and her two beautiful daughters while our father, Sebastian was a brave and proud man always teaching us life lessons. Evanna explained her fondest memories with him were when she would sit on his lap as a child in front of the fire and he would read to her, the most wonderful books. According to my older sister, our father had left after an extremely loud argument with our mother which had included shattering three or four large dinner plates against the kitchen tiles and the walls. Neither of us knew how the argument had started, nor did we bother to ask. I didn't have much memory of our father before he left us when we were little, so I always tried to imagine how he looked in our mind since our mother had somehow burnt and destroyed any trace of him ever living with us. We had never been able to keep in contact with him, since he left us no details to either call or write to him.

Soon after he left, our mother's personality had changed drastically into something neither I nor Evanna would have expected from her. She became a cruel woman who became a gossip, using every source of information gathered to her advantage in the little mind games she played with her neighbours, I could have sworn that she would be able to blackmail everybody down our street with how much she knew about everyone. Through this, Marilyn became a devious woman especially around her own daughters pitting us against each other like pawns in the chess board of life. She used every little trick in the book to break us almost slowly, craving any small amount of drama in the household. Maybe it was because she had been embarrassed; the news of our father's departure became juicy gossip for the next month down our street. I figured it was our mother's payback for the humiliation she had to suffer through and the countless questions she was asked. The thing that scared me the most about our mother was her eyes, the small beady icy blue eyes which looked so unnatural giving her an inhuman quality. Every time she looked you straight in the eye I could have sworn that she could see straight through your soul and read your most inner and secret thoughts. It always managed to make me shiver, even though according to my sister I was one of the most optimistic people she knew always finding a bright side to anything. Somehow, throughout the years of psychological torture and mind games I think if it was not for my sister I wouldn't have survived. I admired every single quality she possessed wishing deep inside that I could be just like her inside and out. Unlike my mother, she had the most beautiful bright blue eyes which sparkled whenever the sun shone on them; I envied her hair the pale blonde curls which reached far below her shoulders. Evanna was a bubbly and bright person who had practically raised me over the years in which my mother had not. She taught me everything I had to know and now to this very day her carefree and confident attitude had passed down to me, helping us both through the oppression that our mother continuously burdened us with.

However, one fateful day one of which always brings tears to my eyes whenever I remember it the images burnt deep into my mind, never to be forgotten. That fateful spring, I was only twelve when my sister had stormed from our house when she was only sixteen, never to return again until we were reunited when I repeated her actions at the same age.My older sister, the carefree and bubbly adolescent had finally snapped something I had never seen from her before knowing that Marilyn had finally struck something deep inside her. It completely horrified me.

I stood helpless on the staircase, peeking nervously around the corner as they stood facing each other. Evanna's fists were clenched into tight little balls her knuckles white as her eyes bore into my mother's who stared back just as aggravated as my sister, her hands resting on her hips.
"I'm so sick of all your fucking mind games! It's disgusting how you can gain pleasure from pitting your own daughters against each other for some kind of twisted and sadistic entertainment!" the blonde had screeched, her eyes wide with fury making me flinch in response even though she wasn't even arguing with me.

"Fine then if you're so unhappy with how I'm treating you why don't you just go ahead and leave you ungrateful little bitch! I really don't give a shit anymore!" Marilyn hissed eyes narrowing as she took a step forward almost daring Evanna. "Leave just like your father did, you're a waste of space anyway!"
My eyes darted back towards Evanna, watching the bundle of emotions crossing her face at the same time, noticing the way her eyes clouded over at the memory of our loving father. It only took Evanna a second to process her words before running past me up the stairs not even saying a single word to me, I didn't dare to interrupt for fear that she would yell at me too. Only a few minutes had passed the tension in the room bubbling up and exploding as my sister rushed back down the stairs a bag slung over her shoulder as she stormed from the house not uttering a word. I watched horrified, willing my legs to move as I chased after her a few seconds later out the front door and stopping her on the pavement as my arms wrapped around her waist to stop her in a hug.

"I'm not letting go until you come back home." I murmured into her blue dress, feeling tears already well up in my eyes and obscure my vision a sickening feeling rising up in my stomach as I already knew the answer but I didn't want to hear it.

The blonde spun around, embracing me in a proper hug and smoothing my brown locks out carefully letting me sob quietly my entire body shaking, dampening the soft fabric with my tears. When she finally spoke I looked up, hazel eyes meeting her bright blue ones hers filled with sorrow.

"Naimane, I'm sorry… I just can't be here anymore. I promise I'll write and when you're old enough you can come live with me okay?" she explained with a weak smile, hugging me tightly and leaving me completely speechless.

I watched her walk down the street and waited at the end of the footpath until I her figure became nothing but a speck in the distance. Salty tears continuously rolled down my cheeks, leaving me a blubbering mess.

For the next week I had confined myself to a corner of my room and locked the door, sitting there for hours on end sobbing and crying until there were no tears left to cry. I only ever left to bathe or go to the toilet refusing to eat anything, barely speaking to Marilyn in the process almost like it was my own silent little protest. Soon enough, my spirits were lifted as I received my first letter from Evanna, I had been worried about her for days on end my mother's words playing in my head constantly.

"Naimane, you stupid girl. She's not going to keep in touch with you; I wouldn't be surprised if she's already dead."

I continued to reply to my sister's letters, always intrigued by what she was doing. She now owned an apartment on the other side of town and was going for a job interview that afternoon. Every letter I received always excited me and secretly I kept them in a small wooden box at the back of my wardrobe, hidden from my mother's eyes. Unfortunately one day she found them and reprimanded me for keeping such a secret from her and even calling me such dirty names I don't think I would even have the courage to repeat them to anybody, not even my sister. Marilyn became paranoid and attempted intercept the letters I received although I always managed to steal them from her when she wasn't looking and respond. I continued to do this until the woman finally gave up trying to stop me and didn't care if I kept in contact with her. But whenever she caught me writing or reading one she would always wander past, peek over my shoulder.

"What did you write about me this time?" she would whisper, making me shudder before striding off to do any small chores around the house.

For years and years I kept in contact with my older sister, always intrigued by how her life was going now that she had left home it had never occurred to me that I would repeat her actions at the same age she did. After arriving home from the park, missing school for the third day in a row (not that it really mattered to me in the first place as I figured that I was more educated than those who went to my school). Marilyn was waiting for me in the kitchen as I entered the house, her arms crossed across her chest like she was trying to prove her authority over me, one hip cocked to the side and her eyes fixed in one of her classic stony glares which shook me to my core but I kept my ground.

"You missed another day of school, was that something Evanna told you do to?" the woman questioned, raising an eyebrow a sneer in her voice as she spoke my sister's name. Her obvious intentions were to aggravate me, trying to make me snap but I wouldn't fall for it.

"Yes, she did actually. Is there a problem with that?" I retorted, mimicking her stance and feeling less confident than I sounded. My voice sounded unusual as it left my lips, rather than my usually bubbly, excitable tone this time it was cold and deadpan.

"Well maybe you should stop listening to that idiotic sister of yours and use your head for once in your life Naimane!" Marilyn countered, taking another step forward to try and intimidate me.

"She's probably more intelligent then you; at least she knows how to be compassionate unlike you!" I screamed back, eyes welling over with tears fists clenched into balls, suddenly remembering this was exactly what had cause my sister to leave. "You're just a cold hearted, bitter old woman who's so self conceited she would do anything to get her way even if that means playing mind games with her daughter. Well I've had enough!"

On my last sentence my instincts suddenly took over and I bolted up the stairs, storming into my room and grabbing the first bag I saw as I fumbled around my room, searching through drawers and cupboards to find various items such as clothing and books. My eyes rested on the small wooden box and without a second thought I shoved it into my over filled bag, zipping it up carefully before slinging it over my shoulder. Rocking back on my heels and jumping up, only to spin around and notice that my mother was standing in my doorway arms on hips this time as her eyes bore deep into mine but I wouldn't let her win, not this time.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"I'm going to live with Evanna. Once again another person is leaving you Marylyn." I hissed, smirking at the look of shock on her face at the use of her first name and experimentally taking a few steps forward to defy her.

"Why don't you treat me with some respect? You're not going anywhere."

I stepped forward again, now face to face with my mother who was only a few inches taller than me. My eyes narrowed to slits, shooting daggers and my body shaking at the pure rage that was building up.

"Maybe if you treated me with respect for once in my life maybe I would return the favour. I'm leaving and that's final." Using barely any force I pushed past her and ran downstairs, spinning around to face my mother, revelling in the shocked look on her face one I had rarely seen. "I hope you die in hell you cold hearted bitch."

With that I stormed from the house, slamming the door behind me for emphasis as I strode down the street, opening my pack to pull out my sister's envelopes and examining the address.
That's what lead me here today, nervously standing on my sister's doorstep as I knocked twice waiting for her to answer. The door finally opened to reveal a young woman with large blue sparkly eyes, her pale blonde hair reaching her waist.
Before she had a chance to question who I was I lunged towards her, wrapping my arms around the flustered woman and screaming her name as I sobbed joyfully into her t-shirt.

"Naimane?!?" Evanna questioned, grabbing my chin and tilting it upwards so she could examine me thoroughly. "Oh my god Nai… I haven't seen you in ages. Come in!"
Ecstatic I followed my sister inside, plopping myself down on the couch to rest beside her as she continuously questioned me one arm wrapping around my shoulders in a comforting manner. After a great deal of explaining she flashed me a bright smile, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead before exclaiming.
"Nai, I'll always be here to look after you."